Tuesday, May 1, 2012

F**k It

After a good few glasses of Cabernet on Friday night, I was able to get some quality shut-eye and reset my sleeping clock. This time next week, I may need a bottle or two in order to calm myself enough to get me some rest for Wednesdays flight. In the meantime though, my suitcase is out, the "To Do" lists are being chipped away at, and I'm tying up loose ends at work and at home.

As ridiculous as it may sound, there's a very miniscule part of me that hates to leave the momentum happening in my life right now; Work is continuing to get more exciting and fun, new acquaintances have been formed and there is great interest in getting to know them better, and plans to move to Vancouver are in the works but will be on hold until I return. The upside to having so many positive things happening right before I leave is that there will be lots waiting for me when I get back. 

Now as much as this very small part of me doesn't want to leave, the rest (a very LARGE part) of me can't wait to get off the ground. As you've figured out, this trip isn't just a vacation for me. It, already, has a significance that is indescribable. 

I'm sure most of you can relate to such moments in life where you feel like you have nothing to lose. Where that one seemingly irrational thing seems to be the only thing that makes sense and everything seems to ride on that one moment as if it was a crux to which everything else would follow. This is such a moment for me. I like to call them, "Fuck It" moments. 

I picked up the "Fuck It" book almost a year ago in the hopes to find a new way to go with the flow, let go, and enjoy life. Since this trip will breach all my safety zones, the Fuck It "way" reminds me to just let go, let things be, and have an adventure. My savings account will be spent, the fear of being in a foreign land by myself will be faced, my daily routines will be interrupted, and friends, family, and home will be missed. Previous to this moment in life, all of these "breaches" would have be considered complete and utter chaos - and may have been the reasons I never ventured beyond it before. But now all I say to that is, fuck it. Life's too short to stand still.

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